Lately I have had quite a few lessons about pretending. I don't think you can be a lesbian in her seventies and not know what it feels like to pretend. I have never gone as far as pretending I was married to a man, but when a gay man (a wonderful friend) brought me flowers to the office for my birthday many years ago, I never corrected the assumptions that were made. And to be honest, I didn't feel ashamed (at least not at first) because it felt so damn good not to be guarded about my private life. To feel relaxed, just for a moment.
A while back when President Biden was addressing book banning, history rewriting, and censorship, he pointed out that darkness can hide much, but eliminates little. That really struck a chord with me. It is so true of the gay experience. From the beginning of time we have hidden in the shadows. We have pretended. But we have always existed. And will continue to exist.
So I'm not sure what the book banners, the history rewriters, the censors are hoping for. At best they'll make it dark for a few moments. Writing history lessons with the notion that slavery benefitted the slaves by teaching them new skills will sooth only the least curious mind. Pretending that gayness can be prevented with silence is choosing ignorance.
Ryan and ML and I had a conversation about this at lunch today and it did not go well. Ryan still has so many open wounds from the 80s that his voice becomes halting and his eyes fill with tears. ML is the opposite. "All this bullshit you read about is just the latest rouse the media has of making money."
Neither of them are wrong.
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